Physical Outlook...

Physical, definition by Oxford dictionary is, "connected with your body rather than your mind" let me highlight, the word body, body is the thing that people can see from the outside, what people can see with their naked eyes, what people sometimes judge you with, some might not agree...nor do I, but mostly people just judge someone else by their physical, the face, the body, the hair, the thing you wear, the thing you put on your body and everything which is related to your body...(ex: tattoo, piercing and so on). The other thing which had being such a sensitive issue for ages...the skin color. Before I really got into this topic of mine for now, I wanna shout to all those reading...I ain't trying to do any offense onto you guys, not at any kind of race, not at any kind of human you are or what ever mankind you are, I really do not trying to offend you all, because, I am offended, just in a softer way of offense...

First Case:

I went to meet my girlfriend’s mother the other day, for the very first time, I was with my semi-formal attire, tug in my shirt some more, man, when I look myself in the mirror, I just look like a salesman, well, its okay I think, because, I need to make a good impression for myself…well, at least, she know her daughter ain’t hanging out with any punks. I took off all my ear-rings, this is what I call sacrifice, anything for her, although I might risk to lose all the piercing I had on my right ear, but it is still okay for me, I still put myself into the risk, for love’s sake. Well, I try to walk the gentleman’s way…walk in, saw her grandma lying on the sofa, I greet her, saw the brother, I greet him, and sat down on the sofa, properly sat, “this ain’t me and I had never ever had this kind of experince~” but it is still okay, anything for my babe. Minutes passed by and the mother came out, “hi, aunty”, that was all which came out of my mouth, and I swear, I am really damn nervous at that time. But the mother did not talk to me, just smile and went back to the kitchen…I sat there and talked to the grandma, happen some misunderstanding on my surname, but it is still okay, since I know all this all folk’s way of listening and talking. But what crushed me is…my babe came to me a few moments after that laughing and tells me something, this is the conversation:

My babe: You know what mummy say just now?

Me: What?

My babe: Mummy ask me whether you are a (some other race) or not… (Giggle)

Me: What?! (deep down inside, it’s damn hurt)

My babe: Than I say no,

Me: Okay…

My babe: But mummy turns back to me after pausing for some time and asked again, “mix?”

That was the second head shot I got from that day…ending of the first case.

Second case:

After that incident, I gotta meet some of her friends, since a lot of people already tell me that I really look like some, bastard which only know how to mess up people’s life…I kept on hearing all this stupid news and rumors…even those unrelated crimes, they relate it to me as well, just because of what I look like? I felt, I had being treated so unfairly, so unfair, it is like, I had being blame for the blame which I had never done, which is so f*ck-up…alright, back to the case, after my babe told the friends about us, duh~ the friend said something like, “please lar, him ar?” it is like, I had being put out of list before I do anything, I was shot with M-16 that day, not one shot…it’s the whole magazine…

Well, you see, your physical outlook might not be really important for you, but think again, what does your look brings to others? What came in their mind at the very first place when they saw you? Could you ever figure that out? Should I wear some ear-rings? Should I walk like some models or Ah-Beng? Should I wear like some formal businessman or just plain t-shirt shit like that? Think again…your physical ain’t important for you, but it is for others…

Third case:

Until then, I was quite close with the family members, I mean like, I could go to the house and hang out there, without fearing anything, so, on last Saturday night, I was around in town with my girl, suddenly, the mother call us up and asked if I could send her back, well, mother in law wannabe, why not right? So, I asked my girl to tell the mother to wait and I’ll drive her back home. Pick up the mother and send her back (being nag for not wearing seat belt at that time, hahah!) after the mother got down from the car…something came in my mind, damn~ my ear-rings…I forgot to take it off…damn, I shot and commit suicide myself using revolver this time…2 piercing…2 shots…

This is not the ending of the story, no…no…few days after that, my babe, told me that, mummy indeed saw my ear-rings and she say I look gay-ish~ walao~! What an extravaganza word is that! Now this is some big cannon shot!

P/s: I had a lota wounds till then...but still survived...

Target Paper

-Ivan Joachim-